Canadia

Bar patron to chick: Hey, come here one second.
Chick: What?
Bar patron: Would you say I'm hideous?
Chick: So-so…

Ship & Anchor
Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: Lenovskyvich

(during Beauty and the Beast, the Beast enters stage)
Little girl in audience, loudly: Hi, beast!

Neptune Theatre, Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: Ina

Skanky girl: My hair smells like cum.

Gleneagle Secondary School
Vancouver
Canadia

Girl on cell: And I'm like “If you get to fuck me in the ass, then I get to fuck you!” Yeah, except then he's like, “Okay, sweet!” and I'm like, “Shit, that backfired.”

University LRT Station
Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: thrilled commuter

Bimbette in bathroom stall: So what are these hooks for?
Friend: To like, hang your coat or bag or whatever.
Bimbette: Oh my god! I am so stupid! I've been putting my coat on the floor! How long have you known about this? (runs out of stall, yells to random girl) Did you know about the hooks?! (girl nods) I am so stupid!

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: chloe

Chunky drunken woman shouting to friend and waving her arms wildly: I don't want no peepshow! I wanna dildo!

Downtown Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Bowtie Daddy

Professor, discussing the concept of virtue in literature: Today, when you hear the word “virtue”, you just kind of laugh. And that's because your souls are all festering masses of corruption.

Literary Theory Class
Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: Reb

Woman: Well, I still think I should be allowed to join the army if I want to.
Man: Oh yeah, you totally should. I'm just saying, I don't think women should go to *war*. I mean, no one wants to see, like, boobs getting shot at.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Megan

Assumed alcoholic: You didn't have alcohol. One beer isn't alcohol. Six beer is alcohol!

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Dude #1: I think there's piss in my mouth…
Dude #2: Yeah man, that's piss-mouth, it happens.

Pemberton, BC
Canadia

Overheard by: Ben