I Think I’m Winning

Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn’t understand, so I something you didn’t understand right back… God, I’m cruel.

Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Posted on November 9, 2013
Class, Delaware, Education, Teachers

I’m Currently in between Abortions

Lab TA: This is bromium chloride. If you have guys in your group, have them work with it. If not, girls, I hope you’re not pregnant. It tends to cause birth defects and cancer.
Chick #1 in back of room, whispering: You guys, I can’t touch that stuff!
Chick #2: Why not? Are you pregnant?
Chick #1: You see, that’s the thing — I don’t know…

Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: She’s majoring in drunken sorority girl

Posted on November 8, 2013
Advice, Class, Oklahoma, Pregnancy, Students, Teachers

And I Have the Trophies to Back That Up

Girl in front: Hey! I can shoot a cat as well as the next girl!

Normandale Community College
Bloomington, Minnesota

Overheard by: who questions that ability??

Posted on November 8, 2013
Bragging, Class, Minnesota, Students

Hence The Taming Of the Jew

Girl at history class: Ohhh, I get it! So, Shakespeare got his ideas from Hitler!

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Toya Lah

Posted on July 28, 2010
Australia, Books, Class, History, Students, Stupidity

“Ethics Of Video Games?” Excuse Us.

Ethics of video games professor: And that's why they stoned women in the middle ages. Brunette, whispering: I think he gets off on video games.
Blonde, whispering: Ham?
Brunette, whispering: Him!
Blonde, whispering: I am not a ham!
(both girls start laughing)
Professor: Excuse me?

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Margo

Posted on May 3, 2010
Class, Getting off, Girls, Illinois, Teachers, Words

When Camel Toe Becomes Hammer Toe

Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!

Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 14, 2010
Class, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Florida, Teachers, Vagina, Violence

Judging from the Residue I Discovered on One Of Your Quizzes

Professor: Here you are, every day, sitting in this little cave which is evolutionary very stupid. You're not reproducing while you are in here. You aren't even trying to… Well, maybe that's not true.

Psychiatric Physiology Class
Pomona, California

Overheard by: Whats He talking about again???

Posted on January 12, 2010
California, Class, Education, Science, Sex, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

Pets Being the Obvious Exception

British individual rights professor: States can't go around cutting people's bollocks off because they've been naughty.

Law Class
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on November 13, 2009
Balls, Class, Missouri, Teachers, Violence

…”The Lord” to You Christians and Jews

Teacher, lecturing on post WWII German artwork: Creepy sneaky guy is watching you!

History Class
Eugene, Oregon

Posted on October 28, 2009
Class, Education, Oregon, Teachers, Threats, Weirdness

…And Bring Out the Visual Aids.

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on October 27, 2009
California, Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Politics, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Violence, Wishes