Guy: We're talking heroic amounts of porn.
Girl, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, what?
Guy: What?
Girl: How is “heroic” a unit of measurement?
Guy: No. I mean: if you met the guy, he'd be your hero.
Girl, still laughing, walking away: I can't.
Connecticut
Overheard by: LunaFish
Four-year-old kid: Everything I touch dies.
Rest Stop
Connecticut
Professor: It’s like giving kids gateway drugs, but for the greater good.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Kid: Mom, what’s the last supper? Why is it called ‘The Last Supper’?
Mom: Because it’s the last meal Jesus had with his disciples.
Kid: Awesome!
Mom: … Before one of his disciples betrayed him and he was killed.
Kid: Awesome!
Target
North Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Johnny Utah
Queer: Oh my god, did you see Andy in that hat?
Fag hag: Yeah!
Queer: Doesn’t he know that a cowboy hat that big is an unequivocal call for anal sex?
New Haven, Connecticut
Lady: Hi sweetheart, how old are you?
Little girl: I’m four, and I’m too young to die.
Connecticut
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]Chinese girl: I can’t do it.
Teacher: But you’re Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.
Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Layla
Hot, black female nerd on phone: No, I don't need you to explain to me why Batman can't be Asian. That's a conversation we only need to have once.
Connecticut
Overheard by: Bruce Lee Wayne
30-something suit: He was like… The Jesus of bad news.
Train Station
Fairfield, Connecticut
