…Well, Great to See You Again!

Girl: Didn't I lick maple syrup off you once?
Guy: I thought I licked maple syrup off you.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Wait, no. It was honey.
Girl: Oh, yeah. Honey.

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Olivia

Posted on May 21, 2017
Default, Food, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Licking, Questions, Virginia

It's the STD for the New Century

Guy #1: What? Barely legal girls are hot.
Guy #2: Barely lethal?
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What?

Univeristy of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Posted on May 18, 2017
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Florida, Guys, Questions, Sexuality, Words

Interestingly, Gay Recruiters Use the Same Argument

Drunk guy: Foreplay? What the fuck is that!?

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: B_friendly

Posted on May 13, 2017
Canadia, Default, Drunks, Foreplay, Questions

Let's Just Say His Istanbul Couldn't Constantinople

Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Intern

Posted on May 12, 2017
Default, Foreigners, Geography, Relationships, Sex, Washington, DC, Women

…To Paraphrase Nietzsche

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret

Posted on May 11, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Drugs, Family ties, Fears, Offers and requests, Ohio, On the phone, Weirdness, Women

And Nobody in the State Is That Color

Girl to waitress: So the baby's a cute little bugger. They don't know who he looks like yet.

Olive Garden
Davenport, Iowa

Overheard by:

Posted on May 6, 2017
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Girls, Iowa, Kids

And Middle-Aged Women Try to Squeeze Into It

(walking past Victoria's Secret PINK)
Goth #1: Dude, that place sells, like, sexy lingerie for 14-year-olds.
Goth #2: Awesome, dude!

Old Orchard Mall
Skokie, Illinois

Posted on May 4, 2017
Default, Goths, Illinois, Kink, Malls, Undies

For the Last Time, Mr. Libby Is a Person

Teenage girl #1: Wait. Are you the boy with the scooter?
Boy with no visible scooter: Yes.
Teenage girl #1: Everyone be talkin' 'bout you! Boy, you're famous!
Teenage girl #2, excitedly: Wow! The boy with the scooter!
Teenage girl #3: Is it electric?
Boy and other girls: No!

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Sandra