Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Caroline
Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Caroline
Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!
Open Bar
San Diego, California
20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pookins
Student during modern world history class: Well I think the clit would be a good place to go now.
USMMA
Kings Point, New York
Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn’t it awesome?!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Chick: Yeah, he was just showing us random slides and told us to guess what they were. And there was this one slide — at first I thought it was Jesus and some chick, but on the next slide the dude was turning into a horse and I thought, ‘Jesus never did that!’ so I just put down ‘Man turning into a horse.’
Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana
Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?
University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A+
Man in line for character photos: Crap, I just took a picture of someone else's kids, I'm not a pedophile, don't start thinking that!
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
