Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Professor: I know, I know. Worst exam period ever. You don't want to be there. I don't want to be there. I'm not sure how we got that one…maybe the dean has a daughter and I was drinking and I said something. I don't know.
Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Tall brunette: Hey…have you seen my portable soup transporter?
Short blonde (in disbelief): You mean a cup?
Tall brunette: Yeah…that.
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Seriously worried
Girl #1: So Gabby's RA was telling her that someone shat on the carpet in the hallway the other night.
Girl #2: Wait, were they drunk or something?
Girl #1: I would think so. It was nighttime.
Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa
Very drunk girl: I'm going to go pee with my vagina.
Venice, Florida
Girl #1: I think he underestimates his strength sometimes.
Girl #2: Yeah, I agree. Like, he slammed my head into the coffee table last night.
Williamstown
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Preppy girl: It's like eating pickle juice.
Guy: Like pickle juice?
Friend: How fucking stupid are you?
Rockford, Illinois
Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Mom to cashier: And we'll have a water.
Little girl: But I want Pepsi!
Mom: We're getting water Pepsi!
Little girl: Yaaaaay!
Mom, winking at amused cashier: When you have kids of your own, water Pepsi is the greatest invention ever.
Medford, Oregon
Drunk girl, pointing to apartment across the street: Look! The elevator goes up and down! It's so cool!
Sober girl: Yeah…they tend to do that.
Drunk girl: Shut up! (pause) But this one lights up! Oh, look! There it goes again!
London
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The D.D. for the night
