Girl #1: So you got drunk in a church?
Girl #2: Yeah, sort of. There's a bar in the basement.
Girl #1: But isn't that, like, sacrilegious? I mean, isn't slosh one of the seven deadly sins?
Girl #2: Uh, I think you mean “sloth.”
Ronnie's Local
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: LB
College girl on cell: You're making a valid argument. It sounds completely sober!
Boston, Massachusetts
College student: I think I hate sleep more than I hate Snapple.
University of Delaware
Smithie: Why do I go to college if my only ambition is to be a constantly drunk trophy wife?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Colleen
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Professor: I know, I know. Worst exam period ever. You don't want to be there. I don't want to be there. I'm not sure how we got that one…maybe the dean has a daughter and I was drinking and I said something. I don't know.
Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Tall brunette: Hey…have you seen my portable soup transporter?
Short blonde (in disbelief): You mean a cup?
Tall brunette: Yeah…that.
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Seriously worried
Girl #1: So Gabby's RA was telling her that someone shat on the carpet in the hallway the other night.
Girl #2: Wait, were they drunk or something?
Girl #1: I would think so. It was nighttime.
Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa
Very drunk girl: I'm going to go pee with my vagina.
Venice, Florida
Girl #1: I think he underestimates his strength sometimes.
Girl #2: Yeah, I agree. Like, he slammed my head into the coffee table last night.
Williamstown
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
