I Didn't Expect the Irish to Be Such Pussies

Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.

Craigavon
Northern Ireland

Posted on March 17, 2021
Coworkers, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Family ties, Foreigners, Ireland, Questions, Sex

That's What I Got You Last Year

Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy's pants!

Norfolk, Virginia

Posted on February 11, 2021
Clothes, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Questions, Sex, Virginia, Wishes

Why People Hate Tequila in the Morning, Encapsulated.

Drunk girl: Look! I have salt stains all over my pants. I'm a car.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 21, 2020
Clothes, Drunks, Girls, Pennsylvania, Stupidity, Weirdness

The Blowjob Bunny Makes Her Rounds

Drunk chick: Look, this is going to take five seconds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.

http://greenoverheard.blogspot.com/2006/02/what-happened-to-shaking-hands.html

Overheard by:

Posted on December 19, 2020
BJs, Drunks, So College

Let’s Keep Doing Shots Until It Does

Drunk girl: Oh my god, how can you be wearing a t-shirt right now? It’s so cold outside!
Bouncer: I love the cold. In fact, I have the air conditioning on in my apartment right now.
Drunk girl: Wow, so, what are you? Like, from Florida or something?
Bouncer: No… That doesn’t make any sense.

Washington Street
Brighton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Patron

Posted on December 15, 2020
Drunks, Massachusetts, Stupidity

Her Shirt Says “Jesus Is My Homeboy”

Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It's very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I'm in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that'll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I'm 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I'm 18. Well…I mean, I'm 23.

Shreveport, Louisiana

Overheard by: Elle