I Was Just Pointing Out That Most Dogs Don't Have Their Own Bathtubs

Drunk JAP, yelling at boyfriend: I can't deal with your shit anymore! You don't respect me, you ridicule me in front of my friends. You tell me my dog doesn't deserve to live in a house as big as mine! I don't want to live like this!

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Jill and Weenie

Posted on April 9, 2022
Animals, Drunks, Gripes, JAPs, New York, Relationships, Weirdness, Wishes

You Have Her Eyes, Patrick

Drunk guy #1: I don't know, I bet she was a nice-looking Irish lass back in her day.
Drunk guy #2: You keep calling my grandma a piece of ass like it's a compliment.

Bar
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Mike K.

Posted on March 30, 2022
Ass, Bars & Clubs, Compliments, Drunks, Family ties, New York

I Also See Many Things That Aren't Actually There

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

Posted on March 10, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Kentucky, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Weirdness

Silly Girl, They're Staring at Your Breasts

Drunk guy #1 (looking at girl's patterned shirt): Woah, what is on your shirt? It's so confusing.
Girl: It's just a bunch of overlapping circles.
Drunk guy #1: It looks like never-ending sunsets!
Drunk guy #2: It looks like angry rainbows!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on February 17, 2022
Clothes, Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Questions, Stupidity

I Notice You Came Up with That Description Awfully Quickly

Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!

Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee

Overheard by: bluecollarbelle

Posted on January 24, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Drunks, Guys, Questions, Sensory experiences, Tennessee

…But the Security Guard Was All, “Public Fountains Aren't Toilets!”

Drunk guy to friend: And it was like a mini-orgasm. I swear, it was the best pee ever.

Monash University Dorms
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Australian L

Posted on November 30, 2021
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Guys, Orgasm, Sensory experiences

And Why’s Her Brother Waving Happily from the Pool?

Drunk girl: Hey. Hey! Everyone be quiet for a second — I want to make a toast. I just want to remind everyone why we’re here, and that’s because my brother finally shit successfully.
Drunk guy: What the fuck did she just say?

House party
Holbrook, New York

Overheard by: pc

Posted on November 15, 2021
Drunks, New York, Poop

You've Foiled Me for the Last Time, Levi Strauss!

Very loud drunk guy, standing at a urinal while he tries to open his zipper: How the fuck do they do this?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on October 27, 2021
Default, Drunks, Guys, Nevada, Pee, Questions, Weirdness

And Since Your Sister Got Crushed by That House, You're All I've Got!

Drunk guy outside window: I didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!

Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland

Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)

Posted on September 17, 2021
Default, Drunks, Guys, History, Scotland, Weirdness

My Secret? I Like Forcible Sex

Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!

King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England

Overheard by: Andrea

Posted on August 25, 2021
Drunks, England, Philosophy

Drunks