Gripes

Angry security guard lady: Hey! There’s no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn’t know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there’s a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We’re blind — that’s why we’re at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!

Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson

Smelly drunk in silent library room: You don't work for me? Man, no one knows that they work for me!

Public Library
Seattle, Washington

Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!

Gas Station, Alabama

Man to another in restroom stall: Let go of my ears; I know what I’m doing!

Nightclub, Oxford Street
Darlinghurst, Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Claudia Rose

Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!

Fira
Santorini
Greece

Frustrated waiter: It doesn’t matter if it was real or not. What matters is that it came out of her ass!

Cass Corridor
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: fox news

Mom to barking, howling little boy: Stop that! Remember, you’re a person!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Overheard by: the girl with the hat

Queer ranting on cell: You pissed your bed, now marinate in it, Mister Magical!

14th Street and Grand Boulevard
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Auds

Little girl running back from bathroom with her father: Mommy, I got pee on my finger!

Perkins restaurant
Erie, Pennsylvania

(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1: I think I have sensitive wrists.
Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!

Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Liz