Four-year-old: Mommy, are you having a breakdown? [Bored mother ignores child.] Mommy, I’m having a breakdown!
National Gallery
Edinburgh
Scotland
Four-year-old: Mommy, are you having a breakdown? [Bored mother ignores child.] Mommy, I’m having a breakdown!
National Gallery
Edinburgh
Scotland
History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!
Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado
Blonde to bartender, about explicit music video on TV: Will you turn that off?! It’s offensive! [To friend] I am way too fucking Christian for that shit!
Scruffy Murphy’s Pub
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: bystander that was enjoying the video
Man to friend: I don’t know which is worse, the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get her one, or the fact that I didn’t want a present for my birthday and she got me one.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/hes_a_keeper.html
Overheard by: you really don’t know?
Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.
Bar
New Jersey
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster…
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
