Man to friend: I don’t know which is worse, the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get her one, or the fact that I didn’t want a present for my birthday and she got me one.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/hes_a_keeper.html
Overheard by: you really don’t know?
Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.
Bar
New Jersey
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster…
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Daughter: I hate it when things don't have a price on them.
Mother: Oh, how much is it?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231320/its-free-now.html
Overheard by: another tired mother
Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.
Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer
Teen girl, standing up: Get up! I gotta go to the bathroom.
Snotty friend: Fuck you! Carol told you to go before the movie started.
Teen girl: I’m gonna shit my pants at the count of three and then sit right down!
Other teen girls in row, standing in unison: Go! Go! Go! Go!
Movie theater
Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Big Larry
