Teenage girl: Yeah, he just couldn't orgasm! I spent like three hours on that shit, and after about an hour I was so thirsty I wanted to say “hold up, I'm gonna go get a big gulp.” (friend bursts into laughter)
Birmingham, Alabama
Teenage girl: Yeah, he just couldn't orgasm! I spent like three hours on that shit, and after about an hour I was so thirsty I wanted to say “hold up, I'm gonna go get a big gulp.” (friend bursts into laughter)
Birmingham, Alabama
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: not surprised
Newly admitted psych patient: I'm here because I'm crazy! What the hell is art therapy going to do for me?
Highland Park, Illinois
Student: I didn't get to say “bosums”! Dang it!
Seattle, Washington
Angry male: You don't have a couch! Where are the boyfriends and husbands supposed to think?
Tiny shop assistant #1: I really don't know.
Tiny shop assistant #2: Well, we don't have a couch. But we do have Skittles!
Angry male: That will suffice.
Supre Store
Australia
Student, yelling at no one in particular: I can't believe this stupid book is $52! It's a fuckin' softcover 40-page book!
Bookstore employee: Dude, just photocopy it and return it.
Student: Ohhh! Good idea! Thanks!
Bookstore
Los Angeles, California
Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!
Houston, Texas
Teen guy #1: Fuck, my girlfriend hasn't texted me back in over two hours!
Teen guy #2: Do you even have your phone on you?
Teen guy #1: No, it's in the car.
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Girl #1: You know, thanks for listening to my problems. I know you've got a lot of your own, and they're totally worse than mine.
Girl #2: Dude! My problems are like…I had really crappy Chinese for dinner four hours ago shit. Your problems are just like, you had chicken and a salad for dinner last night shit. It's totally cool.
East Tennessee
Overheard by: yeah? well i had lasagna for dinner.
