Like His Penis, Once.

Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/04/messenger.htmlcom

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on May 15, 2022
Creepsters, Hipsters, Jesus, Overheard in PDX, Religious fanatics, Weirdness

And Don't Get Me Started on the Blood, Dawg

Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy's hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl's friend: I hear ya.

St. Jude's Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Feebriel

Posted on January 18, 2021
Canadia, Default, Food, Girls, Gripes, Jesus, Religious fanatics, Sensory experiences, Teens

There Are Muslims in Utah?

Boy: Why do you wear that on your head?
Muslim girl, indifferently: So the aliens don't read my brain.

High School
Utah

Overheard by: I need one of those!

Posted on November 23, 2020
Body parts, Clothes, Girls, Guys, Questions, Religion, Religious fanatics, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Utah, Weirdness

Today, Make Jesus Your Main Squeeze

Pastor, during sermon: You never know what's gonna come outta somethin' till you squeeze it.

Methodist Church
Port Norris, New Jersey

Overheard by: stunned organist

Posted on October 3, 2020
Default, New Jersey, Religious fanatics, Words

…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.

Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?

College
Massachusetts

Posted on February 26, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Jesus, Massachusetts, Poop, Questions, Religious fanatics, Teachers

He Eat Brains! … Oh, Wait

Lady with mic: Nothing is more powerful than Jesus! He die; he get up!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/remax.html

Overheard by: lab

Posted on January 13, 2020
Jesus, Overheard in PDX, Religious fanatics

At Least Take a Bite of This Apple

Boy: I believe in waiting until marriage.
Girl: That’s funny, cause I believe in you fucking my brains out.

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Posted on November 8, 2019
Bimbettes, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Religion, Religious fanatics, Sex, Students, Wishes, Yeahhh, college!

So You're Saying Sex Is a Game?

Old religious woman to large crowd of highly amused students: Having pre-marital sex is like playing Russian roulette with your genitals!

Alumni Hill
University of Arizona

Overheard by: The girl who likes to live on the dangerous side

Posted on August 21, 2019
Arizona, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Old folks, Relationships, Religious fanatics, Sex, Women

As a Special Treat, Some Of the Altar Boys Will Play With Him

Pastor: Next week we have something very exciting! We have an organist coming into Sunday school! He will be demonstrating to us how he uses his organ, so make sure to come because you won't want to miss it!

Church
Alhambra, California

Posted on April 8, 2019
California, Default, Education, Feelings, Guys, Religious fanatics, Weirdness, Words

You Can't Get Decent Sackcloth Anymore

Crazy-religious-dude, pointing at male student: Are you free from sin?
Male student: Yes I am!
Cray-religious-dude: Sure about that? (looks student over) Then why is your shirt so tight?

Florida International University

Posted on March 30, 2019
Christianity, Clothing, Colleges & Universities, Crazies, Florida, Questions, Religious fanatics

Religious fanatics