Would You Just Rob the Fucking Bank, Already?

Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: People have forgotten how to praise the Lord!
Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: Don't complain that you can't find a job! Praise god that there are jobs!

Bank of America
Palm Harbor, Florida

Overheard by: Serena H.

Posted on December 10, 2008
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Florida, God, Jobs & Careers, Religious fanatics

Dear Gays and Lesbians– Sure You Want This?

Sexy businesswoman on cell: No, I'll be here at the office for at least four or five more hours, honey. Love you. Bye. (sits down at bar next to young man and rubs his crotch) Husband's taken care of.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on December 7, 2008
Default, Indiana, Infidelity, Jobs & Careers, Lies, Malls, On the phone, Suits, Time Management, Women

Out Shaking Her Balance Sheet on a Friday Night

Teen girl #1: Okay, okay, look at that girl over there.
Teen girl #2: Which one?
Teen girl #1: The one with the short skirt, revealing halter top, and cowboy boots–what do you think of her?
Teen girl #2: I don't know what you're asking.
Teen girl #3: What do you think she does for a living?
Teen girl #2: I don't know, she could be an accountant.

Steak 'n Shake
Springfield, Missouri

Posted on November 12, 2008
Clothing, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Missouri, Questions, Restaurants, Teens

On a Totally Unrelated Topic, Care to Come See My “Special Room”?

(Christian brother professor is chewing on the ice of his drink after lunch)
Student: Hey brother, you know what chewing ice is supposed to signify?
Brother: Yeah…sexual frustration.
Student (chuckling): Yeah.
Brother (shrugging): Occupational hazard.

LaSalle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Well D'uh

Posted on September 27, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania, Questions, Religious fanatics, Sexuality, Students, Teachers

What Kind of Landlady Makes Bandana-Wearing a Lease Requirement?

Girl on cell: So, did I tell you? I got fired from my job. (pause) Yeah, I guess I'm not a very good gay and lesbian promoter. (pause) Well I'm not gay, so maybe that had something to do with it. (pause) Oh, didn't you hear? I got kicked out of my apartment last week, too. (pause) Yeah, it's gay.

Redline MAX
Portland, OR

Overheard by: Gus

Posted on September 24, 2008
Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, On the phone, Oregon, Public transportation, Questions, Sexuality

And I'm Like, “What Are You, Crazy?”

Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Brooke

Posted on August 26, 2008
California, Crazies, Default, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Memory lane, Violence, Weirdness