Little girl in next stall: But what if Old Faithful starts going while we're not out there?
Girl's mother: Well, you'll have to pee really quickly so mommy can pee and then we can go.
Little girl: But you take a long time to pee.
Mother: Yes, I know.
(pause)
Little girl: You take a long time to pee.
Mother: Well, thank you for announcing that to the entire bathroom.
Restroom, Old Faithful Inn
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Little girl: I need a knife.
Concerned mother: What? Why?
Little girl: So I can cut your fingers off!
Concerned mother: Ashley*! Now, that’s not nice!
Little girl: But I’m hungry!
Old Navy
Plainville, Connecticut
Mom to barking, howling little boy: Stop that! Remember, you’re a person!
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the girl with the hat
Teen daughter: You’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Teen daughter: No, you’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Granny, with English accent: What’s a dickwad?
Teen daughter: It’s a pile of jism, Granny.
Dad: Okay, family meeting right now!
On the subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: jezebel
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You're gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts
Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy…
Mother, exasperated: No! It's not even proportionate to the snowman!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Only in Boston…
Little boy picking up women’s underwear: Mommy, what is this?
Mother: That’s women’s underwear.
Little boy: I’m touching women’s underwear?! I’m touching women’s underwear!
Mother: Stay away from that, Tommy*.
Target
Novi, Michigan
Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don't want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we'd be done for.
Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York
Overheard by: BOB Sled
