Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Enthusiastic teen girl: My 10-year-old brother wears lip gloss!
Irritated mother: Don’t tell people that!
Line for American Idol auditions
Dallas, Texas
Annoying mom: Is smoking good or bad?
Five-year-old son: It’s bad.
Annoying mom: That’s right. And how bad is it? It’s like eating everything at the top of the food pyramid.
Clinic lobby
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: joe the xrayguy
Mom #1: Well, you are blonde, you know!
Mom #2: Yeah, well, I’m not blonde everywhere!
Mom #1: Well, I don’t know how that works…
Panera Bread
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Freelance Mama
20-something: Alright! Smells like booze on the plane.
Overprotective mom: No, that’s just my hand sanitizer.
Flight to Buffalo, New York
Mom to daughter: All I’m saying is, it would really help get rid of your fat and your pimples.
Mount Vernon
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: mm2105
Mom: Do you remember what the name of this river is, Billy?
Son: Is it the Platonic River?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Keith
Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.
Gloucester Road
London
England
Overheard by: Never want to have children
Mom with sunscreen in hand: Give me your arm so I can put this on you.
Little boy: Ewww! What is that?
Mom: Sunscreen. What did you think it was?
Little boy: Mayonnaise!
Giants Game, AT&T Park
San Francisco, California
