Flight attendant: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1751 to Raleigh-Durham. My name is John and I am your head flight attendant today. I will be assisted by my lovely fiancee Sarah and my ex-wife Jill. It may be a little awkward but we hope you have a pleasant flight.
Runway
Atlanta, Georgia
Blonde chick to guy friend: Oh my god, so last night the bouncer made me pull out like three pieces of ID because he didn't believe my last name is “Pansy.”
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: sarah
Trophy wife, very sincerely: I think that in a past life…I was Ralph Nader.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.
Point Comfort, Texas
Supermarket cashier: I only use Charmin toilet paper; if a place doesn't have it, I bring my own.
Customer: Wow, you're picky.
Supermarket cashier: I'm picky about my men too; they have to have all of their teeth.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Woman to thug in fur coat: Now, I don't even know your real name or your birth certificate name.
Thug in fur coat, puzzled: Most black people don't know each other's real names!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: EmGusk
Professor: You have a special relationship with Aristotle.
Dramatic Lit Class, Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Wish I did
Customer to cashier: A lot of people say the witching hour is midnight, but it's actually 3 am. I know this because I worship Satan.
Supermarket
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Guy on cell : Yeah, dude, I got her tickets to the Met! $15 seats, so we're way up there, but we're on the aisle too, so we won't get interfered with while we're going at it. (a few minutes later) So the loss of my virginity is imminent.
Jersey City Light Rail
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I also like beans
