North Carolina

Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, “let's go!”
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.

Fayetteville, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!

Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jen

Girl: I wish I had a loving relationship with my feet.
Woman: What?
Girl: Oh my god, you're not my mom!

Shoe Store
Durham, North Carolina

Mom: Do you know what next Wednesday is?
Three-year-old son: Friday!

Country Club
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Annie Tewkesbury

Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!

Wilkesboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jen

College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!

ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina