Chick: Well, my mom wouldn’t let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
I Need to Know More about What You Tried
Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.
Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: EEE
According to This Algorithm.
Man: I’m too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You’re too married.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/359834371/that-too‑2.html
Overheard by: garage girl #1
It’s in the Company’s Value Statement
Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
According to My Report Card.
Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn!
Michigan
…At Least Twice a Day.
Woman to friend: If I was married to him, I’d love my horse, too.
Seagrove, North Carolina
Tonight’s Movie: Star Words
Best Shakespeare professor ever: I love metaphors. Metaphors be with you!
College of St. Rose
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Erin
Sigh. You Guys Are So Predictable.
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone’s butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
It Was Lots Of Fun ’til the Police Arrived
Little boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!
St. Joseph, Michigan
Whoever Threw It Knew What He Was Doing
Girl to friend: That’s the last time I catch a falling baby.
Farmington Valley, Connecticut
