Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.
Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: gidgetgirl
Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.
Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: gidgetgirl
Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Drunk guy: Fuck you guys! I am not gay! I love my siiister!
Penn State University
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: truth serum…
20-something on cell: My soul is not a constipated gerbil!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Grouchy mother to small child in stroller: I wipe your butt! The least you can do is share my drink!
Mall
Pennsylvania
Little Hispanic boy: I want more food.
Dad, calmly: Okay. We just have to get another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad: Okay! We just need to go get you another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad, yelling: I said ‘okay’! I just have to get you a new plate!
Little Hispanic boy, shocked: You yelled at me…
Dad: Well, I tried speaking to you like a white man, but you wouldn’t listen.
Chinese buffet
Reading, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hole
Girl arguing with boyfriend on speaker phone: I hope you get herpes and get pistol-whipped! [Guy’s friend giggles in background.] Is that Nate? I hope he gets herpes and pistol-whipped, too!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
Old teacher, petting student’s hair: Your hair is so pretty. When you graduate, you should donate it to the blind.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shakananananawanda
Artsy girl #1: Hey, remember that time in London when we both thought we had scabies, but we didn’t?
Artsy girl #2, sighing: That was one of the best days of my life!
Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hiding my laughter in the photo lab
First grade girl: It’s my job to inform everyone about horse dinkers.
Johnstown, Pennsylvania
