Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of ’68? [silence] I always ask. I’m hoping at some point I’ll find my old girlfriend.
JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy on train: It’s a stone edifice! You can’t wear a t-shirt in a stone edifice!
Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait…I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don’t only boys have sternums?
[pause]Girl #3: I think you’re thinking of scrotum…
University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Construction worker yelling into manhole: As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a condom right now! Really! I put one on this morning.
10th and Pine
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Didn’t want to know
Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!
BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Drunk Girl
Hipster girl pointing at piece of art: So, do you want to get it?
Hipster guy: Nah, we’ll get it somewhere else. I hate when people ask you, ‘Where did you get that?’ and you’re like, ‘Ikea…’
Ikea
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.
Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Middle-aged student: … But technically, can a woman get pregnant by two different men?
Biology professor: Depends on what party she went to.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jessica
