Really the Only Way to Be Safe in a Manhole

Construction worker yelling into manhole: As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a condom right now! Really! I put one on this morning.

10th and Pine
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Didn’t want to know

Posted on January 26, 2026
Condoms, Construction workers, Gender issues, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Threats, Weirdness

And Won First Prize at the Science Fair

Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!

BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Drunk Girl

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Guys, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Sexuality, Weirdness

There’s Nothing You Can Do to Rehabilitate Its Coolness

Hipster girl pointing at piece of art: So, do you want to get it?
Hipster guy: Nah, we’ll get it somewhere else. I hate when people ask you, ‘Where did you get that?’ and you’re like, ‘Ikea…’

Ikea
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 5, 2025
Default, Fashion, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stores

Embrace Your Degradation

Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.

Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 29, 2025
Advice, Blue collar, Default, Pennsylvania, Public transportation

My Money’s on the Democrats

Middle-aged student: … But technically, can a woman get pregnant by two different men?
Biology professor: Depends on what party she went to.

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on November 20, 2025
Comebacks, Default, Pennsylvania, Science, Sex, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

And If Chris Hansen Shows Up, Don’t Let Him In

Angry woman on cell: I told you — we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!

Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Posted on November 16, 2025
Assholes, Christianity, Default, Education, Offers and requests, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Women

You Want to Spread the Cancer Evenly Throughout Your Body

Friend #1: You’re not inhaling!
Smoking girl: Do I have to inhale?
Friend #1: Yeah. Otherwise you’re not really smoking.
Friend #2: You’re just getting mouth cancer.

Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 9, 2025
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Maladies, Pennsylvania, Questions, Smoking

The Two Main Entertainment Options in Chambersburg

Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.

Chambersburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: gidgetgirl

Posted on October 31, 2025
Advice, Default, Fat people, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania

Has He Given You a Satisfactory Answer to That Question?

Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania

Posted on October 24, 2025
Asians, Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Default, Guys, Idiots, Pennsylvania, Religion, Science, Thugs, Weather

Wait! Those Were Unrelated Staaatements!

Drunk guy: Fuck you guys! I am not gay! I love my siiister!

Penn State University
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: truth serum…

Posted on October 10, 2025
Drunks, Family ties, Pennsylvania