Before You Laugh, Can You Answer This Question?

History teacher, reading from worksheet: ‘The Constitution places restrictions on the powers of the states. Name one.’
Student: Maryland?

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on May 23, 2023
Pennsylvania, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Um, Wharnk?

Irritated English professor: I think I'm just going to change all my paper assignments to “create an inscrutable utterance.”

Ursinus College
Pennsylvania

Posted on May 14, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Education, Pennsylvania, Teachers, Words

Thanks, Sharper Image!

Loud girl: And my mother said to me, “Well, I guess you're an adult now, since you have adult sex.” And I was like, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” and she was like, “I opened your cupboard.” and I was thinking, “Oh shit!” because I've got a lot of shit in there. I've got porn, I've got a vibrator, a cock ring. I've got things she doesn't even know what to call them!

University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Posted on April 25, 2023
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Girls, Pennsylvania, Porn, Questions, Sex, Toys

And What of Its Host Organism?

Psych professor: I think it’s a usable vagina.

University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I’d use it

Posted on April 22, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Pennsylvania, Teachers, Vagina

Stacy’s Attempt to Milk Them Ended Badly

Recent college grad: Wait, you mean elephants are mammals?!

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not a mammal either

Posted on April 18, 2023
Animals, Idiots, Pennsylvania, Science, Stupidity

No, but at the Rate They Inbreed, It Will Be

Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, look — Catholic school kids!
Teen girl #2: Erica! Don’t say that!
Teen girl #1: What? … Is that racist?

Franklin Institute
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not catholic

Posted on April 14, 2023
Names, Pennsylvania, Teens

Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here

Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!

Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania