British individual rights professor: States can't go around cutting people's bollocks off because they've been naughty.
Law Class
St. Louis, Missouri
Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.
Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Professor: In a year or two, you're going to graduate and have to face the hard decision about what to do with your life. Some of you will be lawyers, some of you will be engineers, and some of you will opt for a life of crime. When you do, and you get caught, roll over on the person you're caught with, and ask for absolute immunity. I hope you don't choose a life of crime, but if you do, at least be smart about it.
Pre-law Class
USC
Student: What would Elvis say?
Professor: What would Plato say?
Student: What would Butler say?
Campbell: What would Foucault say?
Girl in back row: All I know is he broke a table.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: elvis eavesdropper
Greek mythology professor: So, why is there a flying penis on the screen?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Biology professor: You're getting me all nervous about my penis… Which I measure daily.
Community College
Illinois
High school government teacher: Which country has the most negative image?
Student, enthusiastically: Africa!
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Professor, discussing types of fat: Babies aren't fat like… (points at a fat girl) No, I don't want to say that… like my tummy.
University of Georgia
