Teacher: Who was right in the American Revolution?
(silence)
Student: We were?
Teacher: We were! God, I thought you were all communists for a minute.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Psychology professor at all-women college: Personality disorders are the people you end up married to.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Sabrina
Professor, pulling blue scarf out of pocket for magic trick: Now that… that is what I like to call… a blue scarf.
Villanova University
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Professor: Here, let me make you some flesh. You know, you can buy flesh in the school store!
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Painting with Mr. Lector
Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Prof: Ladies, I'm just gonna give it to you straight: I guarantee you that almost every straight guy you see today is going to picture you naked.
Techie guy, fixing projector: Fuckin' A!
University of Calgary
Canadia
Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.
High School
Concord, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Professor: It's hard to have an orgy without orgasms. What? It's true! What're you gonna do, play video games?
University of San Francisco
San Francisco, California
Russian professor: Grammarlicious definition makes them “gringo locos.” (pause) Now that you've all been permanently scarred…
Arizona State University
