Girl: Oh my god, I can’t believe you! You vomited all over their bathroom!
Drunk chick: I’ll vomit in your vagina!
Blacksburg, Virginia
[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!
Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk
Teacher: I've decided that the Japanese live on another planet, that we can sometimes take a plane to.
Art Institute of Washington
Arlington, Virginia
Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Girl: I was like, ‘What the fuck,’ you know? There’s nothing wrong with me — they’re the stupid bitches! [People in cafeteria stare, and guy in corner starts cracking up.] Oh my god, is everyone here retarded?
Cafeteria, Thomas Nelson Community College
Virginia
Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
Girl to friend: Well, if she's dumb enough to use chloroform to put her baby to sleep, then that's her fault!
Virginia Commonwealth University
Overheard by: tim c
Geology professor, after sneezing: It's all these trees outside having all of this unprotected sex.
Student: We're just caught in the crossfire.
Geology professor: Exactly. You should see the stains on my car!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
20-something chick to friend on cell: I like how you're listening to the message I left you while I'm standing right here.
Friend: I just want to make sure I get the message, I don't want to be like one of those people who calls you back without listening to the message.
20-something chick: I hate those people! It's like, what if the message was really important? Like, “Help me, I'm dying! Don't call me back–it sets off the bomb!”
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Good point
