Virginia

Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name's Simon!

Girls' Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Ellen

Drunk freshman: I love it here! Look, even the street sparkles!
Passing upperclassman: That’s broken glass.

Richmond, Virginia

Girl #1: I’m Jewish.
Girl #2: I’m Catholic.
Girl #3: I’m Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.

Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia

Overheard by: Amused Counselor

Woman #1: I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Me, too! What happened?
Woman #1: I don’t know. I just fell.
Woman #2: I guess I’m a little better than you — a possum was chasing me.

Target
Virginia

Bed, Bath and Beyoobies Stives to Be Inclusive

Crazy black guy, very loudly to himself: That's the factory where they make gay people, but I don't care, because that's also where they make boobies!

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: tom

Young suit #1: So how was that new restaurant you went to?
Young suit #2: It was okay. (points at girl next to him) She had a salad, she liked it. But I don't eat salads.
Girl (pleased): It tasted like leaves.

Rosslyn, Virginia

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line

Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren’t you?

Fredericksburg, Virginia

Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can't beat softwood.

Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia