Weirdness

Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That's it! Straddle it, you'll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.

Target
North Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Chris M

Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.

Austin, Texas

Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I'm not even drunk yet.

Canterbury
England

Overheard by: Noel

Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.

London
Canadia

Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks

Short, round, drunk girl with British accent: I have to pee! I just hate walking by all these apartments knowing they all have working toilets!

Manhattan, New York

Weird kid: Your momma's so fat that… Chuck Norris. I win.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

Girl: And I was all “his mom is a slut” I mean, she sleeps with everyone.
Boy: Don't talk about my mom that way.
Girl: Why not? I mean, she's my mom, too.
Boy: No, she's not.
Girl: Well, you never know! You weren't there!

San Antonio, Texas

Boyfriend to girlfriend: It is my sole wish not to have to go number two tonight.

Obama Rally
Chicago, Illinois

Emo boy to mother in women's clothing store: I'm more feminine than anyone in here!

Coffs Harbour
Australia

Girl to friend going back into lecture hall: But it's just a pen, Kelly!
Friend: I just wanna see where it fell!

Toronto
Canadia