Imaginative little boy to brother: That's evil's house, and then death comes walking out of it and he's like, “I hate my job.” And then he accidentally taps his wife on the head and is like, “noooo!”
London
England
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Imaginative little boy to brother: That's evil's house, and then death comes walking out of it and he's like, “I hate my job.” And then he accidentally taps his wife on the head and is like, “noooo!”
London
England
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Drunk #1: I'm telling you man, these fucking guys raped a fish.
Drunk #2: What fucking guys?
Drunk #1: In Africa. They raped a fish. That's why the fish have to wear condoms, so they don't have fish babies with bulging human eyes.
Drunk #3: How the fuck did we get from talking about his (gestures towards drunk #2) sister's hairy vulva to fish rape?
Drunk #4: How the fuck would you even rape a fish anyway?
Drunk #1: Gut it and wank with its corpse?
Drunk #2, knowingly: Or freeze it and push it up your arse.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Roommate, through wall: Oh, Ellen*, not naked psychology again…
St Andrews
Scotland
Teacher: That would make such a great scene in a movie: A volcano smoking, then it erupts, and thousands of ninjas spout out of it and run forth and populate the earth!
Student: This is the best class ever!
Memphis, Tennessee
Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Coral
Slightly austistic girl to slightly austistic boyfriend: I just don't want our relationship to be dysfunctional…
Slightly austistic boyfriend: No! No! It won't…
School Bus
Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Muffled male voice, through the wall, at the end of an increasing crescendo of sex noises: Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats hoooooooooo!
Hotel
Nottingham
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl to guy: Okay, okay. You can play the waitress, and I'll play the creepy chef who's always trying to rape the waitresses.
Oslo
Norway
