Weirdness

English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.

Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne

Cop, over cruiser speaker, to lethargic group of hipsters: Go ahead…walk.
(hipsters saunter across street)
Cop, still on speaker: Good job.

Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kaitlin

Girl rambles on in Albanian for two minutes, then suddenly in English: So you can just eat my toe!

Durres
Albania

Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.

Library
Suburbia, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Black woman to child: You just mama's little white boy, aren't you? Yes you are!
Passing Hispanic woman: Is he really white?

Wal-Mart Parking Lot
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Walk By Faster

Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.

Wal-Mart
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Lady, bumping into female cop in crowded elevator: Oh! Excuse me.
Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don't getcha, my ass will.

Justice Center
El Paso County, Colorado

Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Double V

Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It's not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide