Little boy (loudly): I want to eat poop.
Mom (who clearly wasn't paying attention): What, honey?
Little boy: I would like to eat poop.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JessH.
Little boy (loudly): I want to eat poop.
Mom (who clearly wasn't paying attention): What, honey?
Little boy: I would like to eat poop.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JessH.
Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Brooke
Bimbette shouting from crowd: Why does everyone want me to eat shit out of their mouths today?
Michigan Tech
Houghton, Michigan
Police officer: So that's when they started pulling baseball bats out of their pants?
Guy: Yeah, baseball bats and machetes!
Tysons Corner
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: Jack
Random guy: Dudes! I just wasted 30,000 feet of caution tape!
Sheetz
Pennsylvania
Girl: You know, you were in my dream last night.
Guy: Oh, really? What was happening?
Girl: Well, …you were trying to kill me.
Guy: Oh… that wasn't a dream.
Oviedo, Florida
Overheard by: Um…
Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn't make it, I've got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
