Advice

…Although You're Kind Of Taking the Choice Out Of My Hands Right Now.

40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.

Panera
Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

But at Least You're Cheating Well.

Busy-looking female suit on cell: Face it, Carol, you just didn't marry well.

Upstate New York

But “Jews Give Me a Boner” Is Positive

MHS student to another: Emileeeeeeey… You can’t say the “boner” word at a Holocaust luncheon!

University 4
Moscow, Idaho

Overheard by: i agree

Be Considerate of the Rest of Us

Jock: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html

Overheard by: hung

They’re All Cheetahs and Liars

Singing teen: If you find yourself in a situation where you’re gonna have sex with a leopard, don’t, because it’s gross.

148 bus
Ottawa
Canadia

So They’re Still Just Meat Puppets, Am I Right?

Sketchy guy: So, like, if you were hooking up with someone but not dating — just sex — would you tell them you had an STD?
Girl: Are you kidding me?
Sketchy guy: But, like, you’re not actually dating — just having sex.
Girl: [Shocked silence.]

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: absolutely horrified

The Streetcar Only Works Nights

Taxi dispatcher to taxi driver: You don’t have to say, ‘Taxi 41 calling.’ I know you’re a taxi. You’re not the streetcar named Desire.

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Thanks for clearing that up

Exactly Why I Like Being Her Friend

Biotech #1: God, is she being all depressed again?
Biotech #2: Yeah, you know how she is. She just needs a guy to pay attention to her.
Biotech #1: She just needs to stop being friends with girls who are hotter than she is.

Lawrence, Kansas

… If You’re Unable to Catch Flies with Honey

Encouraging seven-year-old girl to another: You can always use weapons.

Elementary school playground
Mount Vernon, New York

Once You’ve Got That Down, We’ll Move on to Exfoliants

Teen boy #1: Ouch.
Teen boy #2: Oweee! Did you break a nail?
Teen boy #1: Yes!
Teen boy #2: You should get manicures like I do so that won’t happen so often.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/what_a_nice_activity_for_daten.html

Overheard by: I get them too

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