They're a Bit Behind the Curve

Girl shouting across room to guy at soda fountain: Hey Doug*! Hey, Doug! Come over there, they want to hear your song about buttsex!

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on March 23, 2009
Alabama, Ass, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Sex

Colonel Sanders Was Mad Pimpin' in His Heyday

Girl #1: So how much older is this guy exactly?
Girl #2: Only like 9 years. He's 37. But I mean, I really like him, and he has chickens.

Auburn, Alabama

Posted on February 7, 2009
Age and ageing, Alabama, Birds, Default, Feelings, Girls, Questions

Aristotle's Really More Of an American Eagle Dude

Girl #1, leaving the mall: Go to Aero… Ari… Aristotle.
Girl #2: Aristotle is not the same thing as Aeropostale.
Girl #1: Then where did I…?
Girl #2 (interrupting): History. You learned about Aristotle in history.

Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on January 26, 2009
Alabama, Default, Education, Girls, History, Names, Questions

Well That's Harsh.

Girl on cell: Until you are whatever about whatever, then I am all just whatever!

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on January 10, 2009
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Weirdness, Words

A Happy Outcome Of the War on Pubic Hair

Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on January 10, 2009
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Friends, Girls, Guys, Questions, Students, Vagina

Besides, Your Rendition of “Gettin' Juggy With It” Was Not an Appropriate Oral Report

Sociology professor: It takes a sociologist to take the fun out of jugs–but it's a living.

University of Montevallo
Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on December 14, 2008
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Default, Jobs & Careers, Nipples, Teachers, Weirdness

Animal from The Muppets Was a Poor Student Indeed

Professor: I want you to think of your education like bread.
Student in back of room: It's delicious!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: War Damn Eagle

Posted on December 4, 2008
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Food, Offers and requests, Students, Teachers

Your Editors Just Threw Up

Soccer mom #1: I heard once that the reason animals don't live as long as humans is because they come into the world knowing how to love, and we have to learn.
Soccer mom #2: That is so true.

Lee County Humane Society
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Gee

Posted on November 23, 2008
Age and ageing, Alabama, Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Feelings, Moms

From Daisy's Adventures in Mathmagic Land

Professor: There are only going to be 28 questions on this test.
Blonde girl: So, how many points is each question going to be worth?
Professor: Each question will be worth one point.
Blonde girl: Out of how many?

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on November 7, 2008
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Idiots, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers

Their Births Were Heralded by a New Star

Man to date: Kim Jong-il is one. Your stepfather is another.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Joy

Posted on August 16, 2008
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Guys, Names