They’ve Exorcised Me

Kid: I am the Antichrist.
Teacher: Your parents must be proud.
Kid: No! They’re pissed!

Brimmer and May School
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts

Posted on June 17, 2015
Bragging, Gossip, Massachusetts, Students, Teachers

Just Call Me Tweedle Diva

Fat black chick: Yo, real women got curves, nigga.
Black queer: Yeah, bitch, curves. You only got one big curve! (traces circle in air)

Bus
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Dropper of Eaves

Posted on June 14, 2015
Black people, Body parts, Bragging, Comebacks, Florida, Gays

Though, to Be Fair, the Bicycle Had No Bell.

Girl #1: My grandfather has won the Nobel Prize!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, he has one of those trophies in his bookshelf!
Janitor, walking in: Are you sure it was the Nobel Prize?
Girl #1: Yes, I am! Don't you believe me? I'm gonna call him and ask! (proceeds to call, hangs up sounding disappointed)
Janitor: Well?
Girl #1: Oh, it was not the Nobel Prize. It was only from a bicycle race.

High School
Sweden

Overheard by: Malin

Posted on June 5, 2015
Bragging, Family ties, Old folks, On the phone, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Sweden, Teachers

Getting Sexiled Is Too Good for Her

Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like “Yeah, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep.” But her roommate would not leave the room.

Dorm Room
UCSB, California