California

Lonely grad student: I need to get to work so I can stop thinking about Janet Reno’s naked body.

Court of Sciences, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Girl on cell: Yeah, so I'm going to tell my mom that he asked me to marry him, and then he died. (pause) Yeah, she'll probably ask if I need anything, and that's when I'll tell her about the car. (pause) Yeah, I'll be heartbroken, blah, blah, blah… at least I'll get a new car out of the deal! (pause) He's a made-up boyfriend! She's not going to find out he didn't really die, because he never really existed!

San Marcos, California

Girl, looking perplexed at computer screen: Change…gender…?

Phonetics Lab, UC Berkeley
California

High school girl to friend: History is my favorite subject, my favorite is the holocaust…I love the holocaust!

Dentist Office, Korea Town
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: anon

Guy in bicycle to another, intensely: People like to be artificially stimulated.

Encino, California

(tiny girl sneaks behind a big, tall guy for a hug)
Big guy, startled: Whoa! Why did you hug me from behind?
Tiny girl: You told me you don't like hugging me from the front because my vagina touches you!

UC Irvine, California

Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!

Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California

20-year-old female emo: So basically, after hours of arguing outside his house, I was so fed up I told him to fucking suck my dick.
30-year-old female friend: Wow, what happened after that?
20-year-old female emo: I left. He was being such a fucking cunt. I wanted to piss in his mouth. He made me drive home drunk!
30-year-old female friend: He could at least offer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old female friend: Like, I don't even know, he's such a bitch boyfriend. I honestly hopes he gets the herpes.
30-year-old female friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old female emo: Oh, is my lipstick smudged or something?

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Girl #1: You're retarded.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.

San Diego, California

Goofy man wearing “pimp” shirt and “I love boobies” bracelet: Yes! Our theater is closer to my bathroom. Ha ha, you lose!
Attractive brunette : You are the worst blind date ever!

Movie Theater
Monterey ,California

Overheard by: Arkham patient