California

Gender studies professor: Some people are better at oral than others…

College
Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: You can't save every animal in the world.
Girl #2: You don't think you could save every animal in the world? We could go to the rain forest!
Girl #3: I want to go to the rain forest and save the monkeys and Chihuahuas!

Merced, California

Guy: My imagination went to college and found new horizons. Your imagination has always been a whore!

Los Angeles, California

Professor: Are there any questions before we begin the final?
Girl: Can we tear pages out of the exam?
Professor: Yes, we have the technology to reassemble it. (waves stapler around)

Managerial Accounting Class
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Ariel

Student, yelling at no one in particular: I can't believe this stupid book is $52! It's a fuckin' softcover 40-page book!
Bookstore employee: Dude, just photocopy it and return it.
Student: Ohhh! Good idea! Thanks!

Bookstore
Los Angeles, California

30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti!

All Star Cafe
Berkeley, California

25-year-old man: Hey, Bella, I got you funyuns!
Five-year-old girl: Ewwww!
25-year-old man: Well, fuck you then.

Lake View Terrace, California

Overheard by: James Jameson

Hot girl: I've spent so much on condoms since I got here that I think it would be cheaper to just have the damn kids by now.

Westwood, California

Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?

Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse

Girl #1: I wish there were swing sets at college.
Girl #2: I know. Spain better have swing sets.
Girl #1: For when you're abroad?
Girl #2: No, just in general.

Claremont, California

Overheard by: swinging