And a Fascist Participates in “Facials”?

Wadsworth character in the movie Clue: You see, my secret is that my wife was a socialist.
Girl watching the film: So, does that mean that she was a prostitute or something?

French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 24, 2019
Bimbettes, Canadia, Words

She Also Found Fifty Cents, a Rubber Band, and a Playbill from Cats

(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something's itching me–I think there's something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don't remember putting it there!

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 1, 2019
Canadia, Clothes, Condoms, Girls, Memory lane

Just Remember: “There Are No Small Parts…”

Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?

Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on January 20, 2019
Canadia, Default, Girls, Language barrier, Questions, Words

I Prefer to Think Of Them As My “Solar Panels”

(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!

University of Toronto
Canadia

Posted on January 15, 2019
Asians, Body parts, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Weather

Your Editors Pray She's Not from the U.S.

Tourist woman to wheelchair-bound local: Can you point me in the right direction?
Wheelchair-bound local: Yep, it's straight down that way.
Tourist woman: Okay…but is it walkable?

St. Lawrence Market
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: kingdubby

Posted on January 12, 2019
Canadia, Disabled, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists

You Sure Those Were Judas's Last Words?

Professor: And he's like, “Jesus, I wish I was pagan!”

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on January 10, 2019
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Jesus, Religion, Teachers, Wishes

Okay, So It Was Technically an Abortion, But Same Principle

Mom to daughter, wandering off: No, come back here, I don't want to lose you in the store. I already lost one of my kids that way, and that's enough.

Dollar Store
Sept-Îles
Canadia

Posted on January 8, 2019
Canadia, Girls, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Stores

Or Maybe It Was White Men Can't Hunch?

Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.

Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Martha Carscadden