Wife to husband while watching the news: Oh my god! Hahahaha, did you hear what they just said?
Husband: About how that guy “took it on the chin”?
Wife: Yeah, I can't believe they said that on the news!
Husband: I don't think that means what you think it means.
Wife: Oh.
Toronto
Canadia
Creepster: Given the choice, I’d rather eat a convict than a dolphin.
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Dumbfounded
Girl #1: I used to shave my armpits before I even had hair, just to feel like a woman. You know?
Girl #2: (nods)
Guelph
Canadia
Guy trying to solve Rubik’s Cube: Once I figure out how to solve this thing, I’m gonna be banging chicks everywhere.
Calgary
Canadia
Girl: Yeah, I brushed my teeth! (pause) You want to lick my gums and see?
Chinatown
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Lady on cell: Yeah, I know! When I get wet, I get really aggressive.
37 bus
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: That could go either way…
Girlfriend: So, you don't believe in vampires, right?
Boyfriend: Nope.
Girlfriend: Okay, but do you believe in ghosts?
Boyfriend: No, I told you I don't believe in that stuff.
Girlfriend: But you at least believe in witches, right?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend (exasperated): Now you're just being naive!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
Drunk student: I want nothing more in life than to be able to turn into a shoehorn.
Vancouver
Canadia
Big burly man, earnestly: So then he said, “my wife is in labor,” but I didn't exactly know what that meant.
English man, in disbelief: What? What did you think it meant?
Big burly man: I dunno… Um, like, just pregnant?
English man: So what did you say?
Big burly man: I just said, “yeah, that sucks for you.”
English man: Wow, he must have thought you were a real asshole.
Big burly man: Haha, yeah. And then she had the baby in the apartment.
(long pause)
Big burly man: So, anyway, now the building's hot water's not working.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Girl #1: It so sad that racism is still a problem in Canada.
Girl #2: I know what you mean, the other day my mother-in-law went to a variety store, and she, like, couldn't get served in English.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sad York Student
