Chimney: Hey, I Only Smoke When I Drink

Hyper girl: He smokes more cigarettes than a chimney!

Main Street
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: velvin

Posted on November 21, 2014
Chicks, Massachusetts, Smoking

Take Nicole Richie

Chick #1: Did you watch America’s Got Talent?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: There was this saxophone guy who was totally on crack or something.
Chick #2: Everybody on crack thinks they have talent.

Florida Mall
Orlando, Florida

Posted on November 20, 2014
Chicks, Drugs, Florida

Let’s Just Get a Room This Time, Okay?

Hot chick: I was too tired for a layover in Denver! It’s not like you’d let me nap — we’d just end up fucking in the airport bathroom for five hours. Wait! If Denver’s the Mile High City, do you think bathroom sex can count us into the Mile High Club? Oh my god, I am changing my flight — Cleveland can wait. Cock is so much more important.

Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Wishing I was the dude in Denver

Posted on November 20, 2014
Airports & flights, Chicks, Minnesota, Sex

Bed, Bath, and Beat-Offs?

Chick #1: A woman came up to me and said there was a guy beating off into the dress.
Chick #2: Really?!
Chick #1: Sure enough, I walked over and his pants were around his ankles.
Guy passerby: Where the hell do you work?

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on November 13, 2014
Chicks, Gossip, Masturbation, Nebraska

So I Whacked His Weed

Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.

Newark, Delaware

Posted on November 13, 2014
Body parts, Chicks, Delaware, Gripes, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Aw, Man, I’m Always Bringing Up the Rear

Girl to two guys: So, who has the smaller cock?
Guy #1: Oh, me.
Girl: You can fuck me in the ass.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Doug

Posted on November 11, 2014
Backdoor, Chicks, Ohio

Does…Not…Compute…

Chick #1: She doesn’t even *want* to get married!
Chick #2: And she’s not a ho?

Starbucks, Pacific Center
Daly City, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on November 8, 2014
California, Chicks, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, Sexuality, Wishes

It’s Like the Inside of a Man’s Mind in There

Sexy girl: My roommate keeps the room temp at, like, tropical. It gets so hot in there it gets hazy! It’s a good thing she doesn’t care about nudity, because the only way I survive in that room is to walk around naked.

High Point, North Carolina