Clients

Obvious minor: Can I get a pack of Marlboro lights?
Mini-mart man: Do you have ID?
Obvious minor, indignant: Yeah, but I don't have it on me!
Mini-mart man: Would you like two packs for $9.45?
Obvious minor: No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.

Greenport, New York

Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?

Target
Little Falls, New Jersey

Overheard by: harry bohemis

Client to design agency, regarding their website: For simplicity’s sake, we ripped off a few things.

http://adverbatims.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-need-it-4-yesterday-delivery-74.html

Man: There's Tucson for you, turning a great burger joint into a craphole.
Child: Yeah, I bet if you touched anyone in this restaurant, they would be sticky.

Tucson Arizona

Overheard by: Casey Stendahl

Cashier: I never noticed before, but you look like a meerkat.
Customer: Is that another Pokemon?

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Woman who's too old to work at McDonald's: So, you want cheese on your sausage, egg and cheese?
Customer: Umm… okay, sure, yeah.

Centereach, New York

Hairdresser to client in salon: I really like Egypt, you know? I feel like I have a connection to Egypt, like I was there in a past life. Like, I was watching this show on the History Channel about Egypt? Or some place? And they have three religions there? The first one was this religion where everybody kisses this wall? Mmm-mm-mm-mm. They were making out with this wall! They loved that wall. And then the next religion, god told Abraham to kill his son? What kind of crazy religion is that? And then the third religion was all these people standing up, and bending down.
Client: They were probably Muslims. They were praying towards Mecca…
Hairdresser: Uh huh. And I said to my boyfriend, “that's good exercise.” I was going to watch more, but Dancing with the Stars was on.

Collingswood, New Jersey

Gay hairdresser: Ew, I don't think I could handle seeing dead people all gross and stuff!
Teenage girl getting haircut: You know, it's really not that bad… I kinda like it!
Straight hairdresser: Working downtown scares me sometimes…

Salem, Oregon

Saleswoman: Have a nice day!
Irritated customer: I've already made other plans.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Steve

Cashier: Our credit card machine is down right now. Will that be cash or credit?
Customer: Gee, I guess cash… then.

Fast Food Restaurant
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Kate