Colleges & Universities

Female professor: She was a lesbian…
Male student: Yeah, she was.
Female professor: But he turned her straight with his manliness…
Male student: Yeah, he did.

Appalachian State University
Boone, North Carolina

College chick: Oh my god! Girls are, like, so racist.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jackie

Professor, in monotone voice: I think we're all familiar with merry-go-rounds. They're objects in playgrounds that rotate at relatively high speeds, and we put our children on them.

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Tyler G

Twelve-year-old boy in lunch line: So I think I have a new arch-nemesis… He's like, Canadian, or something.
Friend: Cool!

Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island

Angry coffee drinker: He referred to his last sexual congress as “being balls-deep” in his lady.
Amused coffee drinker: Something tells me she was no lady.
Angry coffee drinker: That's what you take away from that?

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Dude #1: You gotta find a girl to fuck. On the side.
Dude #2: I'm not like that. That's your game.

UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Black guy: Hey! What country you from?
Asian girl: Um… America?
Black guy: You look Chinese.
Asian girl: I am?

Community College
Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.

Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana

Angry girl to group of male friends: You can sleep with my mother, you can kill my father, you can burn down my house, but if you fuck with my bike…

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Veli Velo

Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey