Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!
Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado
Burly male college student: I don't want to put my bare feet somewhere where someone's already put their bare feet.
Murray State University
Kentucky
20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.
University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri
30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!
Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma
College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Anne
Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Sara
Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.
University of South Florida
Normal, fairly cute boy: Excuse me.
Normal, fairly cute girl: Yes? (stops walking)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Are you interested in any global issues? Aids, the environment, human rights?
Normal, fairly cute girl: Honestly, no. (walks away)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Oh. (looks really confused and a little crushed)
Outside Library
University of York
England
Overheard by: Even I thought it was a bit harsh!
English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne
Irritated English professor: I think I'm just going to change all my paper assignments to “create an inscrutable utterance.”
Ursinus College
Pennsylvania
