College student to friend: Scott* is so funny. Like, last night, he was looking at his penis…
University of Delaware
College student to friend: Scott* is so funny. Like, last night, he was looking at his penis…
University of Delaware
Student: I’m as much like Hitler as Hitler was.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Kat
Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car’s loudspeaker): I’m not a motherfucker.
University of Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Anne
Guy: I’m pretty positive that on judgment day, god is going to have a live action replay of this conversation and be like: “See… And you were so close!”
University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky
Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.
UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: klutch
Boyfriend: I only cheated on you with one girl but you cheated on me with three guys… at the same time!
Ohio State University
Overheard by: JooSki
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Student: Yeah… I don’t really take advice from a kid wearing a winter hat indoors, drinking white grape juice out of a measuring cup.
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Girl on cell: You know, like, I don’t feel tired, but, like, I know in my heart that I’m tired. You know?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
