Somewhere There’s a Live, Cheerful Half of a Rat, and No One Knows How Heavy He Is

Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Posted on July 22, 2023
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Friends, Minnesota, Questions, Science, Sorority types

I'm Just a City Boy, Prof

Prof, to guy whose ringtone is “Don't Stop Believing”: Aren't you a little young to like that song?

Princeton University
New Jersey

Posted on July 19, 2023
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Default, Music, New Jersey, Questions, Teachers

Kim Jong-il: “Wait, What?”

16-year-old male in office waiting room, to friend: You can't just solve all your problems by causing a nuclear holocaust, man!

Whatcom Community College
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: littlegirlmonkey

Posted on July 16, 2023
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Friends, Teens, Violence, Washington

Just When You Were Starting to Miss College…

Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random… (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?

UCSB Dorms
California

Overheard by: KLaugh

Posted on July 10, 2023
California, Colleges & Universities, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Maladies, On the phone, Questions, Students

Card: I Fear You’ve Been a Careless Quiff/ Valentine, You’ve Got the Syph!

Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: not surprised

Posted on July 9, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Default, Health & Hygiene, Holidays, Idiots, Michigan, STDs, Students

To Be Fair, at Least She Won't Be a Cop.

Fat female student: I'm thirty-eight years old with a criminal justice degree, and I still can't find nothin' to do in this valley. Nobody's hirin', nothin'.
Skinny female student: Couldn't you just be a cop?
Fat female student: I can't be a cop. They give me a badge an' a gun, I'd be shootin' at fags and wetbacks. I mean, in this day in age… Not to be rude or anything…

Bookstore
West Virginia University

Posted on July 6, 2023
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Education, Fat people, Jobs & Careers, Skinny people, Students, Violence, West Virginia

Now I Only Eat It

Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.

University of Miami
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Stosh