Smart girl: Obviously ‘irregardless’ is the wrong word in the sentence.
Dumb girl: Why is that word wrong?
Smart girl: For starters, it’s not even a real word.
Dumb girl: Sure it is — I use it all the time.
Erie Community College
Orchard Park, New York
Overheard by: Smarty Pants
Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile-vomit.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Student: Isn't all truth metaphysical by this standard?
Law professor: Are you stoned?
UC Hastings
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Loving this
Hipster guy: I can't tell if I'm horny or it's just my sinus infection again…
UBC
Canadia
Chick #1: About 20 minutes is good enough.
Chick #2: But what about the pleasure part?
Colby College, Maine
Overheard by: they stopped talking when they saw me listening
Best Shakespeare professor ever: I love metaphors. Metaphors be with you!
College of St. Rose
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Erin
Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like “I think there's still a strawberry up there!”
Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina
Overheard by: starch
Girl #1: How's your sister?
Girl #2: She's a whore. If she wasn't pregnant, I'd go beat her ass.
University of New Orleans, Louisiana
Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she's such a slut.
North Dakota State University
Overheard by: Chelsea
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
