Colleges & Universities

Student: Isn't all truth metaphysical by this standard?
Law professor: Are you stoned?

UC Hastings
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Loving this

Hipster guy: I can't tell if I'm horny or it's just my sinus infection again…


Chick #1: About 20 minutes is good enough.
Chick #2: But what about the pleasure part?

Colby College, Maine

Overheard by: they stopped talking when they saw me listening

Best Shakespeare professor ever: I love metaphors. Metaphors be with you!

College of St. Rose
Albany, New York

Overheard by: Erin

Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like “I think there's still a strawberry up there!”

Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina

Overheard by: starch

Girl #1: How's your sister?
Girl #2: She's a whore. If she wasn't pregnant, I'd go beat her ass.

University of New Orleans, Louisiana

Jesuits: Eeexcellent…!

Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she's such a slut.

North Dakota State University

Overheard by: Chelsea

20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.

Canisius College
Buffalo, New York

Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Girl: It's like, you're just doing whatever, and suddenly you're in the middle of an orgy, you know?
Friend: Yeah, I totally know.

Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia

Overheard by: Clearly doing