College girl: And then she got all high and mighty about it. She was like: “Remember when you passed out in my bathroom? I do!” And I was like: “Remember when you were born and looked like a man? I do!”
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Goth chick: Don’t talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.
University Plaza
Colorado State
Guy: What are you showing me? Bruises on your knees? You can’t do that with every guy in the band you know.
Girl: I know. But that would be awesome if I could!
Carroll Community College
Maryland
Overheard by: Left Speechless
Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.
St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia
Little kid: I have a powerful thing coming to me. Ya know what it is? Pizza!
University of Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can’t have small boobs. That’s like impossible. It’s, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
College professor: I wish there was a gas station on the corner that had a cigarette bar, and an espresso bar, and a drive-up liquor store. I would go there all the time, especially if I could just drive up and get my liquor.
Rochester Institute of Technology
Henrietta, New York
Overheard by: Concerned Student
Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There’s a state called Mankato?!
University of Minnesota, Minnesota
Undergrad: The whole reason I like the book was, like, because Isaac Newton is so badass!
Friend: I thought he was, like, an asshole.
Undergrad: No!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: whatgoesup
Professor: I’m on drugs… And they’re not fun.
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: thereallc
