Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
Hippie guy: Did you know he built a whole, like, bum encampment out of logs? Two houses, a refrigerator… Well, there was no electricity but he had a refrigerator out there… He even had a guest bed. And it was all clean, with a bible laying on the bed… He took being a bum to a whole new level.
Humboldt State University
Arcata, California
Overheard by: Jenn
Sorority girl to lit class: So she was all saying that I was totally against feminism if I insisted on shaving my legs. And I said she was totally against feminism if she insisted on being a whore!
University of Nebraska
Lincoln, Nebraska
Loud girl: And my mother said to me, “Well, I guess you're an adult now, since you have adult sex.” And I was like, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” and she was like, “I opened your cupboard.” and I was thinking, “Oh shit!” because I've got a lot of shit in there. I've got porn, I've got a vibrator, a cock ring. I've got things she doesn't even know what to call them!
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Katie
Psych professor: I think it’s a usable vagina.
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I’d use it
Skinny sorostitute: Every time I see him he just makes me want to throw up.
Arizona State University
Arizona
Overheard by: Lindsay
Professor: When thinking about a case, you have to start by listing all the parties. You go, “We are the plaintiffs, the mighty, mighty plaintiffs…”
Law School
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Smart girl: Obviously ‘irregardless’ is the wrong word in the sentence.
Dumb girl: Why is that word wrong?
Smart girl: For starters, it’s not even a real word.
Dumb girl: Sure it is — I use it all the time.
Erie Community College
Orchard Park, New York
Overheard by: Smarty Pants
Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile-vomit.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
