The Real World's Sadly Lacking in Noble Causes Worth Fighting for

20-something girl to boyfriend: You're such a nerd.
Boyfriend: We prefer “Men of Gondor.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Corey

Posted on July 31, 2020
Books, Couples, Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Pop culture, Words

You Probably Should Just Finish Up the Bottle

Husband: Can I have one of my pills?
Wife: Didn’t you just take two a little bit ago?
Husband: Just the two you told me I took.

Frankenmuth, Michigan

Posted on July 26, 2020
Comebacks, Couples, Default, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Offers and requests

Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned

Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 24, 2020
Couples, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Happiness, Questions, Washington, DC, Weirdness

How to Say “I Love You” Like a Chicago Native

Man in t-shirt and jeans: Wait. Can I just be myself for one minute here? Can I?
Woman in classy cocktail dress: I don’t know, can you?
Man in t-shirt and jeans: [Farts loudly.]

Halsted Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Bardley

Posted on July 23, 2020
Burping & farting, Couples, Illinois

High School Cafeteria Goes Up in Flames, Population Scientists Say, “Excellent!”

Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.

High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on June 20, 2020
Colorado, Couples, Philosophy

I’m Still Not Telling

Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.

Union Park
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 15, 2020
Couples, Gossip, Illinois

…The Prince Of Dullness

Wife to husband who has been chatting with stranger: Who was that?
Husband: Remember those Dos Equis commercials with the most interesting man in the world?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: That was his antithesis.

Northern Michigan

Overheard by: Kaptain Equinox

Posted on June 7, 2020
Character, Couples, Memory lane, Michigan, Questions

Are You Pregnant?

Girlfriend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it's not frozen because alcohol has a high freezing point, but it's been in there for months so it's as “frozen” as it's gonna get, well, not really because…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sentence!

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey