Unlike My Grading Scale

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on June 22, 2020
Class, Default, History, Murder, Ohio, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Maintenance: “When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We’ll Talk”

Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?

Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 21, 2020
Bus, Cleanliness, Compare and contrast, Default, Gripes, Questions, Suits, Washington

And You're Sure It Does?

Constitutional politics professor: Because the North Koreans don't even know if the world exists!

Maryland

Overheard by: loves this awkward class

Posted on June 20, 2020
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Everyone Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise

Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I forgot to ask him if he's gay!
Girl #2: But you don't even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I've lost my chance…I'll wonder for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I'm old and gray, I'll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I'll try to ask him…and he'll be already on the bus, and I'll never know.
Girl #2: You're kind of a freak.

University of Delaware

Posted on June 19, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Delaware, Girls, Public transportation, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Let's Start with One Tier

Girl: I want to bake you a cake!
Boy: I don't do commitment.

Melbourne
Australia

Posted on June 18, 2020
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…I Mean Camel. Camel!

Real estate broker/teacher to class: So tell me, in the 1770s, when Thomas Jefferson was coming up with this system, if you were to want to go from the original colonies to London, what mode of transportation would you most likely take?
Woman in the back: Horse?

Scottsdale School of Real Estate
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Mirth

Posted on June 14, 2020
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I Warned Him That Jumping While Dark Was a Felony in These Parts

Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!

Goshen, Indiana

Overheard by: Dej

Posted on June 12, 2020
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Indiana, Race, Yuppies

Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?

Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There's a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…

The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia

Posted on June 11, 2020
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Guys, Penis

Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse

Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.

SUNY Geneseo
New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Posted on June 10, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Frat boy types, Health & Hygiene, New York, Stoners, Weirdness

And You Carried 'em in Your Wallet Until They Turned to Powder

Wife to husband: She said all they did Saturday night was go to the grocery store around 11:00 pm. And looked at all the condoms. She said that she didn't realize there were so many different kinds: red ones, black ones, ribbed, lubed, etc.
Gay guy at next table, overhearing: Jeez… I can remember when they only came in regular and mint flavored.

Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: A. Nonymous

Posted on June 9, 2020
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