Those Poopyheads Have Already Exhausted Their Five Minutes of Fame

College girl: There, I’ve belittled and insulted The View without using the word “bitch” or the c-word.

Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: …and that itself is a feat

Posted on January 23, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Etiquette, Insults, New Jersey, Pride, Sorority types, TV shows, Words

You Know I Like to Watch

Blonde to friend: You can't give me ice cream and think that makes up for you having sex while I had mono!

UMass, Amherst

Posted on January 21, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Food, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Sex

She Does a Lovely Rendition of “Plaque in the USSR”

American woman on cell: So when you go to Moscow, can you bring me back some toothpaste? Yeah, just Crest. Thanks.

13th St
Washington, DC

Posted on January 20, 2021
Default, Geography, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, On the phone, Washington, DC, Women

More of A Guideline, Really

Guy: She’s Irish, so I really hope at some point she says: “Shut yer piehole!”
Girl: I could pay her ten bucks to say it, unless that violated the pie hole code.
Guy: First rule of pie hole: There is no pie hole code.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/06/american-guy-apparently-on-his-way-to.html

Overheard by: tim

Posted on January 20, 2021
Default, Friends, Money, Overheard Lines, Wishes, Words

When All Along I Was Thor, God Of Thunder!

Professor: And you thought I was some geeky wanker, going on about agriculture!

Eastern Michigan University

Posted on January 19, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Michigan, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Some News Just Sounds Better from a Payphone

Loud man on payphone: He said they removed something like four pimples from his prostate. What? No! Pimples! Pimples on his prostate!

Florida State Campus

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Posted on January 19, 2021
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Florida, Guys, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Words

But, Like Gas, Less Expensive If You Pump It Yourself

Girl #1: I can just ask Jay if I can borrow his truck.
Girl #2: Do you ever give him gas money?
Girl #1: No, I give him sex.
Girl #2: But gas is expensive…
Girl #1: And sex is expensive if you have to pay for it.

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on January 18, 2021
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Sex

And Don't Get Me Started on the Blood, Dawg

Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy's hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl's friend: I hear ya.

St. Jude's Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Feebriel

Posted on January 18, 2021
Canadia, Default, Food, Girls, Gripes, Jesus, Religious fanatics, Sensory experiences, Teens

Now I Go to the Nursing Home and Do That to Grandma

Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!

Pike Market
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: wow indeed

Posted on January 17, 2021
Animals, Body parts, Default, Hands, Kids, Memory lane, Moms, Tourist attractions, Washington, Weirdness

We're on to You, Kathy Griffin

Exceedingly pale college guy: You can't trust redheads. They don't blink their eyes at the same time.
Exceedingly pale high school guy: (nods in understanding)

Arby's
Tempe, Arizona

Posted on January 16, 2021
Arizona, Default, Guys, Race, Restaurants, Stupidity

Default