Little girl: I learned how to make a man!
Mom: A man?!
Little girl: Yes!
Mom: Did you learn that in school?
Little girl: Yes.
Mom: Can you make one for me?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Mollena
Butch lesbian: So…how do blind people wipe their ass?
Fem lesbian: The same way everyone else does. Oh…oh my god, that's gross, Wendy. Most people don't look at it.
Seattle, Washington
Woman eating pizza with friends: So, do you want to go to the hospital? Okay, I'm on my way…I'll be a few minutes though. (hangs up and continues eating)
Louis Pizza
Detroit, Michigan
Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?
English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Woman in car to friend on phone: Shut up, girl. I ain't got time to listen to you. I gots a bug crawlin' on my arm.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: That is a problem
Pretty girl: So, do you like anyone right now?
Serious guy: Eva Mendes, but she lives far away.
Pretty girl: She's hairy.
Serious guy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that.
Pretty girl (in acknowledgment): Yeah.
Serious guy (in agreement): Yeah.
El Paso, Texas
Guy #1: So yeah, you can get in the water with them but you can’t touch the manatees unless they swim up to you.
Guy #2: Sort of like a strip club.
Bar
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Three-year-old boy (enthusiastically): When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
Three-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
Three-year-old boy: And a machine gun!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/304115855/some-problems-require-a-machine-gun.html
Overheard by: wayzata
Three-year-old boy to grandfather: Do you have a penis?
Grandfather: Yes, I do.
Boy: I have a penis, too. My penis is small. My penis is cute.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
