Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Geology professor: Has anyone ever experienced an earthquake before?
Student: There's an earthquake in my room every night!
Geology professor: You really didn't have to say that.
Willamette University
Salem, Oregon
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile-vomit.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn't happen again.
Carbondale, Illinois
Overheard by: screaming on the inside
Concertgoer to friend: It's “neural walls and plasticities.” You know, like brain stuff. But I always thought he was saying “narwhals.”
Andrew Bird Concert
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Student: Isn't all truth metaphysical by this standard?
Law professor: Are you stoned?
UC Hastings
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Loving this
Teen girl: Have you noticed that he's getting gayer by the minute? I swear he's getting gayer and gayer–and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay-to-eyebrow ratio…
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: ninita
Hipster to friends: They have really cool songs, 'cause you can, like, listen to them.
Hipster friends: (nod and mutter in agreement)
Corner Brook
Newfoundland
Canadia
Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: tab
