Chatty chick: … And he called me a drunk! I mean, I am a drunk, but I’m a functional drunk. I told him everyone loves drunks but nobody loves a crackhead… I don’t even care if I get a beer belly! Someone will still love me and rub my beer belly!
22 Fillmore bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Chick on cell: Well, they had their flaws, but you know what I mean… I was thinking about Mike last night. Oh, how I would like to get back with him now that I’m kind of looking for a relationship and he’s not on speed anymore…
Oklahoma
Girl: An Ambien in the shower is almost as good as a Screwdriver in the shower.
Lexington, Virginia
Overheard by: Kelly
Teen hipster on cell: Mom… Mom! I still have the 10 bucks. I did not spend it on drugs… I did not spend it on drugs!
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: mightbekatrina
Hobo to freshman running by: You’re lucky I’m high, kid.
State Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Guy: You know what we should do this weekend? Roofie each other to see what it feels like!
Colorado State University
Colorado
Chef #1: So, were you on the old devil’s dandruff over the weekend? The old Colombian marching powder? [Chef #2 stares blankly and silently.] Is that a yes?
Belfast City Centre
United Kingdom
Queer to another: Wait — you traded Botox for coke?!
Universal CityWalk
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Gluey
Mom to little boy: Son, come get in this car right now and I’ll give you your glue…
Annapolis Mall
Maryland
Overheard by: Lila K
