Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.

University of Miami
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Stosh

Stoner teen girl watching seals: If I ever turn into an animal, I hope I’m not a seal.
Friend: Why?
Stoner teen girl: ‘Cause just look at the poor things — it’s so hard for them to, like, move. They just wobble everywhere. No legs to help them. I feel so bad for them.

Camden Aquarium
Camden, New Jersey

Overheard by: maryjane

Stoned girl at party: I don't think I'm gonna call him back, he was fingering me in pretty rapey way.

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!


Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt

College burnout: It has a soft and creamy center!
Friend, looking at computer: I still don't like him.

Thibodaux, Louisiana

Overheard by: Batpam

Confused junkie: There were these two Jewish guys called Gold and Frankenstein, and they gave Jesus a mirror.

Box Hill Central

Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!

Vancouver, British Columbia

Stoner girl to stoner guy: Vietnam was a war, not a country!

Sacramento, California

30-something druggie girl: I know my dad's looking down at me, helping me and shit. That's how I got my handbag back.
30-something druggie guy: Yeah? For fuckin serious?
30-something druggie girl: Yeah! I feel like he's telling me shit sometimes. Sometimes I reckon he wants me to stop taking the pills and the smack, but then I'm like, “Nah, that's just the drugs talking.”


Overheard by: XPIOTOS