Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.
Borders
Sunnyvale, California
Professor: We have to accept the fact that there are still individuals in this country who are horribly racist, who have a completely backwards system of beliefs… Now, I call that person ‘Nana,’ but that’s neither here nor there.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl on cell: I don’t care how many times you fuck him. He’s your brother, and it’s still wrong!
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl on phone: Ewww, Grandma is so gross. Remember that time she went to the doctor and found out she had chlamydia?
Seattle University
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: gross
Boy: I wish everything in the world was made of chocolate.
Grandfather: That would sure be interesting!
Boy: Yeah. Then I could eat my brother…
Waterford, Michigan
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
20-ish guy: If I have a little girl, I want her to either have the highest moral standards or be ugly as shit.
McCool Hall, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Drunk guy: Fuck you guys! I am not gay! I love my siiister!
Penn State University
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: truth serum…
Six-year-old boy playing in shipping carton: You can’t mail me! I’m your son!
Deatsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Don’t Tempt Me
20-ish redhead: My life would have been so different if I had two gay dads.
20-ish brunette: They would have dressed you in ball gowns every day.
20-ish redhead: Can you imagine the Barbies I would have had?
20-ish brunette: Wow. You would have had all the Barbies.
20-ish redhead: Barbie would have come to my birthday parties.
20-ish brunette: Yes, but she would have been a man.
Houston, Texas
