Kid Must’ve Been Horrible to Get Taken to a Fabric Store

Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom’s friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom’s friend: Because you’re annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!

Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois

Posted on January 21, 2026
Character, Etiquette, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Kids, Moms, Questions, Should have used a condom, Stores

Can You Even Use “Oxygen” As a Verb Like That?

Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.

Southwest Airlines Flight #135

Posted on January 5, 2026
Advice, Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Flight attendants, Guys, Jerks, Offspring, Threats, Weirdness

Mom’s Been Forcing Her to Watch Seventh Heaven, to No Avail

Goth girl: I’m so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you’re turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Posted on December 28, 2025
Advice, Bragging, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Goths, Kids, Pride, Weirdness

He Works in a 7-Eleven, So He’s Used to It

Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.

CostCo
VictorVille, California

Posted on December 23, 2025
California, Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Friends, Military, Murder, Relationships, Women

A Secret Tile Factory

Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.

Borders
Sunnyvale, California

Posted on December 21, 2025
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Jobs & Careers, Women

Wait’ll She Finds Out God’s Asian

Professor: We have to accept the fact that there are still individuals in this country who are horribly racist, who have a completely backwards system of beliefs… Now, I call that person ‘Nana,’ but that’s neither here nor there.

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts